Becoming parents is one of the most beautiful walks in life. But with the pleasure of raising a child, many mothers and dads experience guilt. Whether it’s about doing too much work, not spending enough time with children, or even taking a moment for yourself, guilt can steal happiness from your upbringing experience.
The truth is that no parents are perfect. The expectations which we have from ourselves are generally quite high. If you are going through parental guilt that “Am I doing enough for my child?”, then this blog is for you. Its time for you to free yourself up from unrealistic standards and embrace the fact that being “good enough” parents is more than enough for your child.
Why do we parents feel so guilty?
Parental guilt arises from our unrealistic expectations from ourselves and peer pressure. Below are some of the hot-topics because of which guilt often shows up:
If you are a working parent – You may see yourself feeling guilty of spending longer hours at work instead of being home with the kids.
If you are a Stay-at-Home parent– A non-working mother feels like she should be doing “more” to contribute financially or personally to the family. They worry about their career.
Dealing with Screen Exposure– If we allow the kids to watch extra TV or scroll through devices, then we feel guilty that they may get exposed to non-age appropriate content, just because we wanted to catch some break for ourselves.
Our own Self-Care Struggles – If we take out time for our own self i.e. a quick workout, hobby, watching favorite tv serial or even a nap, we feel selfish and overlooking our children.
Thinking Am I a strict parent? – When we don’t let our child do what they want to do, we feel guilty for being too strict, or not being strict enough.
Peer Comparisons – Social media is full of “perfect” parents and when we see that, we end up feeling like we’re falling short.
Can you connect with any of the above? If yes, then you are not alone. There are many like us who struggle through this guilt at some point in our parenting cycle.
Lets understand what Guilt many mothers carry..
Mothers often feel pressurized and guilty due to societal expectations. Society expects from mothers that they should be able to “do it all.” Be it maintaining a clean and tidy home, cooking meals for everyone, work and contribute financially, being available for kids 24/7 – a mama has to excel at everything what they do !
Lets take a pause and ask this question to us – Is it even possible for one person to do everything? The answer to this is an Absolute NO! No individual can do everything perfectly all the time. Because of this expectation or our own mental upbringing, mothers often feel torn between multiple roles carrying the guilt of not being “enough” .
Here how you can let go of Mom’s Guilt..
Firstly, remember that your child doesn’t need a perfect mom, they just need a loving mom. So stop comparing yourself to others. Social media only shows fancy reels which are not the reality. Each family has their own struggles.
Don’t feel guilty if you are taking sometime off for yourself. Balancing parenthood and selfcare is very important.
Now Lets look at what Guilt many dad’s carry..
Wondering if fathers also feel guilty? The answer is Yes, they do ! While they may not express their guilt out loud but a lot of dads feel pressure to work longer hours so that they can financially support their family. They often aren’t able to give enough time to their kids and feel guilty about it. They suppress their emotions and try “stay strong” for their family.
Here how you can let go of Dad’s Guilt..
Follow the concept of Quality over quantity – Even if you can’t be there all the time for your kids, small meaningful moments matters more than hours of distracted presence. Steal some time doing bedtime reading to them. Reading can help in building a strong parent-child bond.
Start expressing your emotions. It’s absolutely fine to talk about your struggles and seek support from your loved ones – be it your partner, friends, or even a therapist.
Quick Summary : How to Overcome Parental Guilt
1. Stop comparing yourself with others
No parent is a perfect parent. Accept that what you are doing is best for your child. No parent has all the answers, and all parents makes mistakes. Your child needs your love and care, nothing else apart from this. Every Parenting journey is unique, so stop comparing yourself with other parents
2. Setting Realistic Expectations from yourself
Honestly, its absolutely okay if:
-Your child has some screen time while you take a break – Try to make it more age-appropriate maybe through educational Apps
-Order some food instead of cooking dinner – Its an interesting way to bond well with your child
Nobody is a supermom or a superdad. Your kids just need you. They don’t need anything more.
3. Building a Strong Support System
Seek help when required. Try to get involve caretaker or a nanny or elder people if you stay in joint family to take care of your kids when required. Go talk to other parents who have kids of similar age group. You’ll quickly realize that everyone is going through some or the other struggle. Having such support system makes it easier to navigate through parental guilt.
4. Don’t be so hard on yourself
Be kind to yourself. Ask yourself – would you want your child to feel guilty over small mistakes? You would want them to make good of their mistakes in best possible way they can.. Don’t be so hard on yourself, pat your back. You are doing a great job !!
Let go & embrace the journey of parenthood
Guilt be it being suffered by mother or my father can weigh any of the parent down. Parenting is not an easy task. It is a journey which required a lot of patience, perseverance. The kids never judge their parents. They just want love and care. No child asks for a perfect parent.
So- Take a deep breath, pat your back, let go of the guilt, and enjoy this beautiful and imperfect journey of parenthood with your kids and loved ones. !!
