If you are a new parent or trying to understand ways of parenting in this modern era, then this blog is for you. A growing number of parents have started shifting from old parenting styles which our parents or great grandparents used to use i.e. being more authoritative to an empathetic and respectful approach known as gentle parenting.
This method enables a parent to build a strong parent-child bond which is developed through understanding, empathy and respect, rather than punishing the kids all the time or trying to control them. We will touch base on what gentle parenting is, and how you can practice it in your everyday life in the following blog..
What Is Gentle Parenting?
This is a concept which emphasizes on – “building connection with your child over correction”. Gentle parenting is a mindset and its foundation is laid on the four key principles:
- Being Empathetic towards your child
- Show Respect
- Develop Understanding & Open Communication
- Setting clear boundaries
Mothers are the emotional anchor of the families. As a mother, if we use the above four principles while parenting then it will help us in nurturing our child’s emotional intelligence and promoting mutual respect between parent and child.
Gentle parenting encourages us to guide rather than punish, listen rather than command, and connect before correcting.
Unlike permissive/ traditional parenting wherein kids are scolded at various times, gentle parenting includes setting clear boundaries and these boundaries are communicated with compassion and clarity, not threats or fear.
In substance, gentle parenting encourages guiding rather than controlling your child.
Why Gentle Parenting Matters ?
While in tier-1 and metro cities, we see increasingly a lot of people raising children in nuclear family setup with just the parents and kids being together. However as we go to tier 2,3 and beyond, children are often raised in joint families, surrounded by many opinions and expectations.
It has been seen that children who are raised with empathy and open communication tend to develop:
- Improved emotional control
- Confidence and self-esteem
- Leadership skills
- Closer parent-child bond
Gentle parenting doesn’t mean that there are no rules or expectation setting. It means teaching children how to express their feelings, solving problems peacefully, and feel secure in their relationship with their parents i.e. they can talk freely about what they are going through.
It also helps working parents to find a more connected way with their kids, when we’re balancing our professional work or family responsibilities or societal expectations.
What are the Common Myths About Gentle Parenting
Here are a few common misunderstandings we often hear people saying at home or at work or in our society:
“Gentle parenting means giving in to your child.”
Let me tell you the answer to this is a Big No! This parenting style involves setting clear boundaries which are communicated properly to the kids with clarity. Gentle parenting just doesn’t rely on punishment or shouting on kids.
As a parent, you may have often heard from your peer group or your elders “If you’re too soft on your child, then your child will become spoiled.”. However, In reality, being gentle doesn’t mean being permissive. It means being firm with love, and setting consistent boundaries with respect.
“It doesn’t prepare kids for the harsh realities of the real world.”
On the contrary, gentle parenting teaches kids the skills which are much needed as they grow up into professionals. Skills like empathy, being respectful, calm, being able to regulate your emotions, patience and conflict resolution are key to living in this fast paced world.
“It can only be done with toddlers or young children.”
Gentle parenting can be practiced at any age. You will see your kids, be it teenagers or older ones, opening up and discussing their mental, emotional health freely, if you practice these principles. Yes, it does take patience and time but it’s an investment worth your time. When a child feels heard and understood, they are less likely to throw tantrums or rebel later.
How to Practice Gentle Parenting?
Below are some simple practical tips which you can incorporate into your daily routine:
1. Build Connection before You Correct
If you see your child misbehaving or shouting or doing crazy things, try to understand why they are doing this? What are they feeling? Are they tired, hungry?
Try to address the root cause before attempting correction or shouting at your child.
For Example: Instead of saying “Stop crying!” Try saying this “You look upset, is everything ok? Smile and ask patiently “Tell me what’s going on?” or “What happened, my dear? How are you feeling?”
2. Adopt a Positive Language approach when handling your kids
Try to focus on your child’s abilities, strengths rather than their weaknesses. Teach them I can rather than I can’t.
For Example : Instead of saying : “Don’t shout else you will get slapped!” Try saying : “Dear child, What is making you so upset, calm down. Don’t shout, let’s talk calmly.”
Remember : Speak kindly, even when you’re firm
3. Role Model the Behavior You Want your Child to adopt
Children are natural observers, they will do whatever we do. If we want our child to be respectful, show them what respect looks like – how to talk to elders or peers
If you want your child to speak politely, don’t shout at them in anger, calm yourself and speak politely with your child
4. Be consistent in setting boundaries
If we set the right boundaries and communicate it openly to our kids, then they would understand how to behave in different scenarios. Kids generally feel happier when they are clear with what parents expect from them. Be consistent with rules, and explain the reasoning behind them to them so that they accept the boundaries.
For Example: “We should wash our hands before or after every meal to stay healthy, not because I said so.”
You can develop the habits of bedtime prayers or storytime. Use these times as opportunities to bond, listen to your child, and talk about emotions in a gentle, loving way.
Try these stories to teach to your kids – https://kinzy.club/blog/10-short-stories-with-morals-for-kids/
5. Apologize if you lose your cool
Yes, even parents can make mistakes. If you shout or react harshly with your child, take a deep breath, go back, hug your child, and say, “I’m sorry. Mama was upset, but I should not have shouted. Let’s talk now.”
6. Acknowledge your child’s emotions
Remember you were also a child once 😀,understand and appreciate your child’s feelings. Discuss with them why you can’t give them what they want or what trade-off can be made so that they are also happy.
For example – “I know you’re really upset we’re leaving early. It’s okay to be sad. We’ll definitely come back another day.”
7. Balance Traditional parenting with Gentle parenting
Gentle parenting doesn’t mean throwing away your traditional values or being permissive. You can still teach children respect for elders, gratitude, patience, discipline—just through compassion, not control.
Lastly
Parenting is not an easy job. Every child is unique so there is no perfect solution to parenting your child. Gentle parenting is not about never getting angry—it’s about how you react after we do. It’s not about raising children who never cry or make mistakes or being protective towards your kids—it’s about raising kids who feel confident and safe enough to be themselves.
So if you’re a mother or a father of beautiful kids but you wonder, are you doing enough? or you question your decisions—just know this: if you communicate openly with your kids and let them know about what you are going through or how you are raising them, it would enable them to appreciate your efforts more..
We ourselves may not have grown up with gentle parenting, our parents may have taken the harsh ways of raising us but we can be the first generation to give it to our children. And this truly, is a beautiful legacy.
Have you tried gentle parenting with your child? Or are you just beginning this journey? Share your thoughts or experiences in the comments—let’s learn and grow together, one gentle step at a time.
Also do check our Kinzy App to create fun memorable stories through our advanced Ai assistant with your kids.
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